2013 is rapidly coming to a close with literally hours left. I have found myself spending most of today going over and over again in my mind the events of 2013 and actually almost deciding to name this year The Year of Loss. How sad for 2013 that forever in my memory it will be known by such an awful name. How sad for me to spend most of this day focusing on all the loss I have felt this year instead of focusing on all that I have gained, because even with all that I have had to say goodbye to, I have also been blessed more than I probably deserve. I cannot spend the last fleeting hours of this year wallowing in sadness. If I focus only on that then I am doing myself no favors, for I will be missing out on all 2013 has given.

The only loss that I would feel sad about not remembering on this last day of 2013 is my sweet parents. I owe them my life, and they blessed me with a great foundation. They shared the gospel with me and encouraged me to gain my own testimony. They gave me a happy childhood complete with wonderful siblings to share my life with. They gave me unconditional love and support. They encouraged me to find what made me happy and chase my dreams... I lost my two best and biggest cheerleaders in life almost one year ago. My heart aches everyday missing them as I try to figure out what my new normal is and how I will ever feel confident in myself and the woman I am now that I don't hear from my fan club on a regular basis that I am doing a great job. They always made me feel special and loved  and I don't know a person alive that wouldn't miss that.

What else can I call this year?

2013 The Year of Love. This year Xandi and I celebrated our 20 year wedding anniversary. This year I discovered that I love him more than I ever have. He is my best friend. He holds my heart. He is my everything because without him I would have nothing.

2013 The Year I Laughed So Hard I Cried. My kids can do that to me especially when I am trying really hard to be sad and mopey... I am just glad that they don't make me laugh so hard I tinkle! I love our silly talks that we have long after they are suppose to be asleep and love our really deep conversations (insert winky face). It makes me so happy when they share their hearts with their momma and they make me smile every single day that I get to be their mom. My five little chicks are my most treasured gifts.

2013 The Year of Faith. The Year of Learning. The Year of Finding Peace. The Year of Tender Mercies. The Year of Miracles. The Year of Blessings.

I have so so so so so much to be grateful for that this past year has given me and I still don't think that is enough so's. Not all is lost. I am blessed beyond measure and I am well on my way to finding my new normal. Thanks to all this time I will have on my hands now! (after my JOB LOSS of course)

Looking forward to 2014 and the adventures that await us right around the bend.  I know for sure that 2014 will be the year that my last baby Gentry will be baptized. Sophie is dating now and I know that will be a grand adventure. Gavin will be graduating high school and leaving to serve his Father in Heaven for two years in some foreign land...or Idaho :/...Grayson will be entering high school (yikes)!!! Delanie will be turning double digits and acts like she is already a teenager. Help me!
I hope that in 2014 I will be a better wife, mother, and friend. I hope to do more to help those around me and to lose myself in the service of others. I hope to be a better me with whatever that might include. The best me I know how to be, and if I stumble I will get up and brush myself off and keep trying.

Life is so exciting and a glorious adventure. I will embrace it and enjoy the ride.  

Happy 2014 peeps, I love ya!!!